We Speak Freely is not a thing but an absence of thing that leads you to break the barriers and the filters you have speaking on a daily basis.
This statement was made by David Blackwell, host of a weekly Friday night get-together in East London’s Ziferblat cafe called ‘We speak freely’. The purpose, as it’s name suggests, is to speak without limitations, self-conscious blocks or barriers of fear. As well as meeting wonderful people here, you leave believing in yourself with a comfy confidence you’ll want to wear for the rest of your days. Still, the most important thing you’ll learn is that speaking freely is not a one-time thing, you need to take this outside and help re-humanise the world through liberation!
Let me walk you through these tips to awakening the freedom of your speech in a environment full of strangers:
1) WELCOME TO A NEW SPACE
Arriving for the first time somewhere can be scary, don’t worry about that, you are just being human – and that’s an incredibly good thing! Gaze around, explore your surroundings and try to fight that urge to stand simply waiting for something to occur. That something you are waiting for is you. You just need to shut those voices in your mind wondering “what should I say?“, or “what am I meant to do?“. The answer is, anything you want.
2) I GET TO CHOOSE
You are still questioning what you should say – and I know how hard it is to stop that. But in order to speak freely you need to realise that you are not obliged to speak in the first place. You can talk or not, you can do whatever you want. And once you see that, you’ll feel calmer and more confident because you’ll also see that no one expects anything from you and that’s when the magic begins.
3) WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?
Small talk is easy, boring, generally, but easy. Small talk is the spark that leads to meaningful conversations, because small talk builds trust between the people in the conversation and at some point the ice completely breaks and you find yourself talking about your passions, fears, dreams, how you secretly hate cats. So, remember that “what should I say?” It has been replaced by a “where did this come from ?” and before you know it you’re learning about yourself through talking to strangers.
4) YOU, YOURSELF AND I (…YOU)
I bet at some point in your life you’ve already experienced a similar situation to the one addressed in the third step, where you are not really in control of your tongue and you know that you are almost instantly going to beat yourself up for whatever you just said. “Why did I say that?” or “I just sounded so stupid”, am I right ?Well, you don’t need to be a genius to know what I’m about to tell you: Don’t do that. Talking to strangers is not about you mastering Aristotle’s Rhetoric and becoming the ultimate orator, it’s about looking at yourself in someone else’s mirror and accepting, embracing what you see, it’s about giving yourself the love you deserve. Every time you hear your inner voice say “that was dumb”, respond to it with your loving inner voice and say “no it wasn’t, I rule and I was just speaking from the heart”. Respond to it every single time!
5) THE WAY HOME
Everything you just read is the precursor of a way home, of walking alone at night reflecting on the conversations that have just ended but still resonate in your head. Reflecting on yourself and how from now on you always want to feel the freedom of choice you’ve just experienced. It doesn’t matter if you spoke to someone in the tube, or in a cafe, or at a party, or at ‘We Speak freely’. It doesn’t matter if it was a stranger or an acquaintance or a friend. What matters is that you broke the mould you were in that wasn’t allowing you to fully express yourself. Now your voice represents the true you.
If you want to start speaking freely in a safe space, I’ll see you next Friday.
‘Those thoughts you usually have in you mind, are now in your tongue.’ – Socrates Petrides
Look how happy people are when they’re liberated…
Courtesy of David Blackwell